You Smell Like The Beach

I showered you in names until there were none. I prayed for the people fighting. Your perfume was gone (there was nothing on the nose). There was nothing in my mouth. Fear was empty. The kiss lasted seven seconds and when I woke up there was sand in my stomach. 

You should take the long way home. Why I asked. To feel distance. To feel nothing. To siphon orange sweat into summer. To tear your hands in the winter. The beginning of the first end. 

A doctor talks to me every night. What is it about your lover that makes you feel so weak he said. What would a scientist say. A doctor talks to me every night, in between dreams. He says he says. Your thoughts are out of order. Your embouchure is poor. You are riddled with bullets. Excuses excuses. The world is a drug he gives me.